Stay the Course

Happy are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord.  Happy are those who keep his decrees, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways.  You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently. O that my ways may be steadfast in keeping your statutes!  Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.  I will praise you with an upright heart, I will observe your statutes; do not utterly forsake me. Psalm 119: 1-8

It’s not difficult to live in accordance of the laws of the Lord, but it’s not as tempting or exciting as what the world would justify as okay.  Discernment today requires prayer and courage to stand up for what is right and just.  It can be easy to go off on your own, do your own thing, but where can that lead you?  Closer to heaven, or further away to a place of disappointment, regret and despair?  Sure there are glimpses of happiness along the “going my way” path, but it’s not always butterflies and rainbows, it’s sometimes short lived and lends a hand to second guessing.

In my experience, God’s plan is so much greater for our lives than our little imaginations can take us. Instant gratification is not necessarily his plan and often leads to regret.

An everlasting life filled with peace and joy is in the mix for those who listen and act in accordance to his law.  God will not forsake those who observe his statues.  Recognize his presence in your life journey and praise him with an upright heart.

If you feel distracted or like quitting, it’s time to pray more, and ask others to pray for your discernment and journey.  Do not give up hope, he is preparing you and your path. The timing may not be instant, but it will be infinite and awesome.  Prepare your heart for change and keep moving forward, don’t give in to the negative voices that tell you that you are not good enough, don’t deserve happiness, that you are not capable of great things, dig in and push forward.  Be strong, courageous, steadfast, and know that you are loved by the Father, your family and friends.  The work is sometimes hard, but hard work usually pays off.

Shift towards a relationship with God that leads your actions, steer away from a crisis relationship.  If we are focused, prayerful and obedient he can lead us in achieving a purposeful and joy filled life. If we only come to him in crisis, he’s still there, to pour out the grace and mercy, but the climb back to peace, understanding and joy will be longer.

Keep moving, speaking and praying, he is there in the noise and the quietness of your heart.  Be steady in your steps, and keep his commandments.

Be Strong and Bold

Michael Ferrara on Camino

Deuteronomy 31:6; Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. (NRSV)

My husband and sons are walking the Camino right now, I’m at home praying for them.

They started their pilgrimage walk on Friday, over the Pyrenees, mostly uphill, the longest and the toughest part.  Of course they are sore and worn out.  Eighteen miles of walking, uphill, in a day, is a huge effort. I’m certain that our Lord is transforming them,  that the ache they feel is the physical evidence of change.

In prayer time this morning I found Deuteronomy 31:6 where change is occurring, God had revealed to Moses that he was not to cross over the Jordan.  An obedient servant, Moses calls Joshua to inform him of the change in leadership.  Moses provides encouragement and a reminder to Joshua that God will go before him and is with him, never to fail or forsake him.

It makes me think of my guys as they experience their walk of life that even in the trials, pain, hilly parts, joy filled and spirit filled moments that God has indeed gone before, is with and will benefit them.

Even when we may have strayed off the path, the return to it will require work, and it will all be worthwhile.  We don’t need to be perfect, or craft an elaborate plan, we need faith and trust that God’s got the situation and us.

As my guys continue their walk, I pray that they realize the transformation they are going through is orchestrated by the Father, and their faith and resolve be strengthened to become the men God intended them to be.  Keep walking pilgrims, be bold and strong!  Buen Camino!

The Visitation Invitation

I was reading some thoughts from St. Ambrose regarding the visitation of Mary to Elizabeth.  The feast day (albeit a day late) is a fabulous opportunity to make an invitation to the Holy Spirit and celebrate a new life in Christ!  Luke 1:39-45, we find Mary who “went out with haste to a Judean town in the hill country”, this wasn’t a stroll, this was a trip with urgency, quick footed in hill country, it is purposeful and insistent like the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

Upon entering the house of Zechariah Mary greets Elizabeth.  Elizabeth was the first to hear Mary’s voice, it was John, within the womb, who was aware of the presence of grace and leaped in the womb.

Elizabeth then was filled with the Holy Spirit and exclaimed her blessing onto Mary and proclaimed the blessed son she carried.  The promises of the Lord, prayers being answered.

Mary’s song of praise in Luke 1:46-55, magnifies the favor of the Lord, and is a call to each of us to carry Christ within us, to be present to the Holy Spirit, to rejoice and be a witness to the mercy of God.

The visitation is a joyful celebration between Mary filled with grace, and Elizabeth being touched by the Holy Spirit and receiving grace.  Today is an invitation for all of us, men and women, to call upon the Holy Spirit, to invite the presence of Christ to be within us and work through us.

May the peace of the Spirit be with you on your journey and may your response to the Spirit take you quickly past the hilly parts into a place of grace.

Breathe

Sometimes I feel like the air has been knocked out of me and I’ve cried a river of tears.  A shortness of breath as the air leaves my body, a physical pressure as I recover my breath.   Feeling as if I have no where to go in concern of judgment or lack of confidentiality, it’s a spiritual attack that keeps me quiet and alone.

That’s when I have to dig deep, I have to pursue, discern and reconcile truth.  I need a God who saves me.  His grace is sufficient and his mercy is not measurable.  It’s shame, pain, fear of rejection and lack of perseverance that sometimes hold me back.

I know full well that I am not really alone, that I’m in that desert place. Where the adversary is pushing me down, when all I want to do is rise up.  To feel the kick of disappointment, loneliness and sin rock my gut.   I work to find the courage to get up on my knees, to pray and wait for a longing answer.  In that place where I need to forgive and to ask for forgiveness, to move forward in the Holy Spirit.

It’s time to shut down the limitations that have been feeding my head when my spirit knows better.  I serve a living God, who’s grace, and ability have no limits.  I have no limits when I allow myself to be swept into His plan for me.   I need courage to let go of what I know to be “my plan” and figure out what is God calling me to be or do.  God has chosen me, and my bravery is in high demand.  I’m not a great listener, I hear the whispers here and there.  I get mixed up between my desire to know the big picture, when I may only have pieces.  I know that if I spend enough time in prayer then those pieces will form a picture, an idea of what’s before me, what’s asked of me, what I must answer to with my spirit, words and actions.

I pray for motivation and discernment to move beyond the limits of my own imagination and excuses (physical, intellectual, spiritual) to pursue the very best version of me.   The time to rest and contemplate, to fight off the cruelty of crushing self doubt in this season is nearly over.  I know it’s time to rise up, to stand in hope and faith and start moving in the direction that God is calling me to.   It’s time to push and breathe deeply and prepare for the journey out of this desert place.

 

Who’s Writing the End of Your Story?

I just read an interesting article about Ray Dalio’s Management Strategy at Bridgewater where he encourages authentic feedback.  I think this is great, and at the same time I think the opinions of others may have nuggets of truth to them that it could also open up the door to off-loading other people’s baggage.  There’s a balance in the receiving of information and a responsibility of information delivery in a consistent, balanced, constructive way.  Opinion is not fact, it’s grounded on someone else experience, knowledge and where they are in their journey of life.

As I attended Leadercast last year, Brene’ Brown was a speaker and was focused on the brain’s need to create a story to reconcile “what just happened”.   I may be completely messing up her research, so I’ll summarize by saying these are a few of my translated takeaways.

An example of misunderstanding a situation;  If you are in a meeting and someone interrupts you verbally and with a wave, you might start to shut down, and likely start to stew about both verbal and non-verbal cues.  Your brain constructs a story….

1.  They hate me

2.  They have no respect for what I think and trivialize what I say

3.  They think they are more important

4.  I hate them.  Just wait until we’re in a meeting again…. they are going to see a side of me they’ve never experienced…. blah blah blah.

Brene’ also indicated that the story our brain provides isn’t necessarily a truth teller and by not confronting the situation you’ll start to accept the story created as truth.  She encouraged us to confront the story-line, to approach the person (when you can be calm and rational) and ask about “what was that about”?

In what you may have perceived as an attack, may fester and turn into something bigger and uglier than it really is.   If you approach the “offender or person of concern” when you are ready for some new information (aka calmly with openness to learn).  What you could discover is the person in question:

1.  Didn’t realize they did it (most of the time I don’t know I roll my eyes).

2.  They were deep into their own thoughts and how to share it

3.  They were up all night the evening before and had difficulty staying focused

4.  The wave was to de-clutter their own thinking to enable their sharing of an idea and to deliver it as well as you had

5.  They thought you were done because you summarized twice

Ahhh, the other side of the story, should you choose to accept it or not doesn’t really matter.  You should however look at any potential truths that you could potentially improve upon, such as “I summarized twice”?!

What matters above all else is that you chose to write your own ending of the story and that you don’t let moments define who you are and the relationships you have.  Let love lead you, love for God, yourself and those you surround yourself with.

So, that being said, I find value in evaluating opinions and situations at face value.  To seek the truth points.  To know and accept the things I contribute and if needed to exercise self-control.  With God’s guidance, I will write and own my story.  Let my story begin and end in love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7  Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Photo credit:  Dawn Ferrara

God Hears the Broken Hearts

I’ve been cruising my Facebook feed, checking in on friends and family.  Facebook has been both a blessing and a curse – it’s a great way to keep up, but we can’t replace real relationships with it.  I have a good number of “friends” on Facebook that I’ve accumulated over the years.  Hailing from different parts of my life from high school, college, sorority sisters, youth ministry, church, work, neighbors, friends, and parents of my kid’s friends.   I’m of the mind that God puts people in your life for a reason, season or a life time and I’m genuinely curious as to how my friends are doing.

I love seeing the new pictures of family adventures, wedding pictures, inspiring trips, brand new babies to love and just plain silly stuff we come across that tickles the funny bone.

I happened to notice several friends seemingly broken hearts.  A husband who has left his wife.  The loss of a loved one to cancer.  The loss of a baby.  Worry over work.  Loss of a job. The struggles of a child who is battling disease.  Single parenting, dual parenting, illness, demanding kids, messy weather, and complete loneliness.  With technology today we have the opportunity to peek into friends lives without their even knowing it.  Nothing replaces an arranged coffee date, a hug, a handwritten card in the mail, or a call of encouragement.  Nothing.  Get your pen and paper out, write a note of encouragement, apology, sympathy, love, hope, inspiration or humor.  Pick up the phone and call someone…. just because you’ve been thinking about them.  Don’t ask for anything, just give the gift of “thinking of you”.  Put down your devices and engage in real conversation over coffee or a meal.  Hug the ones you love and care about – it’s the simple gesture or touch that may completely turn their day around.   Be there…. for real, God may heal the broken hearts through you.   Be a spirit lifter.

Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.

Be the Gardener

A lot has happened since the beginning of Lent when  I last blogged. This morning’s Mass readings and Deacon Tony’s homily hit home in my time of thanksgiving.

I’ve been praying and knowing that change was on the horizon and asking for the courage to move when called.  I’ve recently been cautious and slow to move, not sure exactly where and what I’m being called to sometimes.  I have no excuse to offer, and frankly think it would be a greater sin to try and conjure one up.  I played it safe, again, a thread that I feel God has been speaking to me about recently.  I held back when I knew I was supposed to move forward.    God’s grace is great enough to overcome my wavering and grant me peace in the storm.

In mid June, my company decided to restructure and move the team’s global responsibilities to the regions.  For a while I’ve been contemplating leaving, and in a manager’s meeting to prepare for the elimination of roles I prayed, that if God no longer wanted me where I was, that he sweep me up in the change.  So He did, and I moved with peace in my heart.

Today’s readings reminded me of how awesome our God is, and our need to dig deep into the Word of God for good council and His promises to those who are filled with faith.

¹⁰ For, as the rain and the snow come down from the sky and do not return before having watered the earth, fertilizing it and making it germinate to provide seed for the sower and food to eat,  ¹¹ so it is with the word that goes from my mouth: it will not return to me unfulfilled or before having carried out my good pleasure and having achieved what it was sent to do.  [Isaiah 55: 10-11]

The Gospel, Matthew 13:1-13 is now marked in my bible, a reminder that my “soil” is of my making;  I can plant the seed of God’s word on rock and see it, but not let it take root in my heart.  That I can plant seed in the chaos of my thorny life, and it will hear the word of God but be choked out by not allowing the light of Christ to shine freely.  I can take care to plant in fertile ground through prayer, water it with the cleansing power of Christ’s love,  weed it, through reconciliation, and allow the light of the world to nurture me through the Holy Spirit.  Then the Word will take root, and bring forth fruit to not only nourish my own spirit but those around me.  I am a gardener, needing to prepare the soil, so the spirit can take root and thrive.

Last year, my garden was planted in rocky and weedy soil, I understood the Word of God and struggled in moving forward.  I asked that He move me, and he did – to a place that I found peace and joy.  I feel untangled, and able to receive and act upon what’s asked of me.  I’m inspired, growing, graced by His forgiveness.  I’m thankful He never stopped speaking to my heart, His patience is infinite, and He loves me where I am.  Where I want to be growing in fertile ground, my capacity to serve Him is not limited by anything other than me.

Dipping into the holy water font, I will remind myself of the baptismal promises, it will be the water that reminds me to wash away anything that keeps me from being close to God and watering the prayers and promises that take root.

I will weed the garden through reconciliation – pulling out those things that keep me from hearing God clearly and keeping me from fully seeing where he is directing my growth and actions.

I will be a better gardener, caring for what He’s entrusted me with and moving with purpose towards the journey He has planned for me.   I am blessed, my wait for an answered prayer came swiftly.  I start a new adventure in the middle of July, my heart is filled with thanksgiving and excitement – I can’t wait to get started and I’m genuinely excited for what’s to come.  He has been faithful.

Discerning the Lenten Journey Ahead

I recently had the great opportunity to join some sisters in Christ on a Women’s Breakfast Retreat.  A half day dedicated to fellowship and focused on the preparation for Lent.  It was wonderful.  As a bonus treat for me it was hosted by St. Michael the Archangel in Woodstock GA, the parish that Greg and I attended and served at as we prepared for marriage and started our family.  My fellowship included new and old friends, how blessed is that!?!

The focus area was on the preparation for the Lenten Journey.  Fr Paul Moreau was leading us through preparation.  I won’t cover it all here, but these are the tidbits I pulled out that really touched my heart and changed my view.

1.  Lent is a time to build up, not tear down.  Prayer is used to fix or focus on an area that may need some reinforcement or to try something new, like daily rosary, a novena, time in front of the blessed sacrament, reconciliation, or attending a faith focused class, bible study or prayer group.  The prayer focus is intended to build on your one to one relationship with God.

2.  Sacrifice and Suffering are different.   Sacrifice is about choosing to give up something as an offering to God.  It should be something inherently good, that gives you joy or you partake of regularly in a healthy dose.  This would be things such as Facebook, Twitter, cola or dessert.  Fasting is another way to show sacrifice.  We should not include sinful things as a part of sacrifice, we just need to give those up all together without including them as a sacrifice, as they should not be in our lives anyway.  This would include stuff like cussing, gossip, Lord’s name in vain and other things you’d bring to confession.  God can certainly help you in the effort, but let’s not treat it as a sacrifice.

Suffering includes all of those things out of our control, such as back pain, headaches, disease, etc., We should count these as sufferings.  I thought immediately of my aching, unreliable knees and decided that I will no longer complain, but I will offer up my pain for the glory of God.  Chin up, slight lip quiver, I’ll carry it bravely for God and not let it hold me back from living the full life He intended for me.

Sacrifice, suffering and fasting are given up as a gift to God.  Our hyper focus on these things will require faith, focus, asking for God’s help in times of temptation, and discipline.  It draws us closer to the Father.

3.  Alms giving or works of acts of kindness that are designated for the building of relationships with others or the community.

So here’s my whittled down plan:

Prayer:  Daily rosary & reading the Pope’s daily homily.

Sacrifice:  I’m going to eat better and track my food.  I’m also going to get my butt to the gym to reshape the “temple of the holy spirit” – I’m sure God didn’t intend a circus tent, so I’m going to lean down a bit by eating right and moving more.  The suffering of my knees will just have to go with it.  I will fast from eating meat on Wednesdays AND Fridays.

Acts of Kindness:  I will, on purpose, seek an opportunity to do something kind each day.  I would love to have my friends and family send me a pic and a prayer intention and I will pray for them in the evening.

That’s the plan – now for my FAT TUESDAY ice cream bar and prep for tomorrow’s fasting.  40 days and 40 nights to be hyper focused on building up your faith life – it’s going to be a great ride!!

Pax Prayer

G, my youngest son, is a challenge to get to church on Sundays, seems like he’s always dragging his feet.  We all go to Mass, but he seems distracted or disinterested at times.

This evening, after a good part of the day without electrical power, we ate a hot meal, and then settled down to watch a movie together.  The lights went out just as the movie started, compliments of the new wave of the Pax storm.  After we were pretty sure the electric was out for the long run we decided that it was a good night to read books on our freshly charged devices.  We grabbed our flashlights and headed up to get ready for bed.  I was all settled in under the covers and I see a flashlight coming at me from down the hall.

Me:  What’s up G?

G:  Mom, do you think we can pray together?

Me:  Sure G, you feel like you need some prayer?

G:  I think we both could use it.

Me:  I agree, will you lead us?

G:  Sure.  Dear God, please keep us safe from falling trees, keep us warm while we have no power and surround our heads with angels.  Amen.

Me:  Amen.  That was a beautiful prayer.

G:  Thanks.  Can I stay in here and read with you.

Me:  Of course, snuggle in.

Tonight, G asked to pray, usually we offer to pray, or we just pray and he joins us.  It’s a rare occasion for him to initiate prayer, and to lead it with confidence as he did tonight.   Even as simple as he put it, it was indeed beautiful as the fresh fallen snow.

Storm Pax Effects

The power went out at 7:45AM as I was prepping for the work day and just returned a few minutes ago.  I spent a good 15 minutes just looking out the window.  I can’t remember the last time I just sat, watched and listened without a million thoughts running through my head.  It was peaceful.

I could hear the persistent dropping of rain hitting the gutters, the chattering ice encrusted trees blowing gently.  The wind picked up and I could hear the crackle of branches trying to twist free of the icy layers that surrounded the limbs.  A loud crack of branches snapping, falling victim to the weight of the ice.  Even an old tree gave up the fight to be upright, crashed with a thud in the neighbor’s yard.

Even though it may be inconvenient to be home bound by the storm named Pax, there is something majestic about watching and listening to it all.  The next wave is blowing through, this go around it’s sleet, bouncing off the ground, sounding like pouring of sugar into an empty container.  The tree branches continue to bend under the  weight, to snap, to fall.

I’m hoping I can listen from a distance and be spared of a closer encounter.  Time, weather and trees will tell the story soon enough.  In the meantime, I’ll go collect my flashlights, get the extra blankets on the bed, if the power goes out, we’ll be ready.

---

pax (pæks) n1. (Roman Catholic Church) RC Church

a. a greeting signifying Christian love transmitted from one to another of those assisting at the Eucharist; kiss of peace